Volgers

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vrijdag 31 december 2010

Waiting at heavens gate

Waiting at Heaven's Gate
Author Unknown









I got to the gates of Heaven yesterday,
After we said good-bye.
I began to miss you terribly,
Because I heard you cry.
Suddenly there was an Angel and she asked me
to enter Heaven's gate.
I asked her if I could stay outside
for someone who'd be late.
I wouldn't make much noise you see,
I wouldn't bark or howl.
I'll only wait here patiently
and play with my tennis ball.
The Angel said I could stay right here
and wait for you to come.
Because Heaven just wouldn't be Heaven
if I went in alone.

Sad Poems

I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you; I smiled and said, "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.




________________________________________




DO I GO HOME TODAY? 
 
My family brought me home cradled in their arms
They cuddled me and smiled at me and said I was full of charm
They played with me, laughed with me and showered me with toys
I sure do love my family, especially the girls and boys.
The children loved to feed me, they gave me special treats
They even let me sleep with them, all snuggled in their sheets
I used to go for walks several times a day
They even fought to hold the lead, I'm very proud to say.
They used to laugh and praise me, playing with that old shoe
I didn't know the difference between the old one and the new
The kids and I would grab a rag and for ages we would tug
So I thought I did the right thing when I chewed the bathroom rug.
They said that I was out of control and had to live outside
This I could not understand although I tried and tried
The walks stopped, one by one, they didn't have the time
I wish that I could change things, I wish I knew my crime.
My life became so lonely in the garden on a chain
I barked and barked all day long to keep from going insane
They brought me to a shelter and embarrassed to say why
They said I caused an allergy and then they said goodbye.
If only I'd had classes when I was just a pup
I wouldn't have been hard to handle when I was all grown up
"You've only one day left" someone said to me
Does this mean a second chance?
Do I go home today?
~ Sandi Thompson ~
donderdag 23 december 2010

funny xmas poem

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas, Legal Version’ (origineel onder)

 (Legal Version) 
 Author Unknown 
  
 Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain 
 improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of 
 stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse. 
  
 A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and 
 around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ 
 St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime 
 thereafter. 
  
 The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House, were 
 located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, 
 i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited 
 to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in 
 said dreams. 
  
 Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as 
 "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the 
 second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained 
 period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of 
 headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.) 
  
 Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the 
 unimproved real property adjacent and appurtent to said House, i.e. the lawn, a 
 certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of 
 the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the 
 cause of such disturbance. 
  
 At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of 
 wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter the "Vehicle") being 
 pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) 
 reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the 
 previously referenced Claus. 
  
 Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the 
 approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal 
 co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder 
 and Blitzen (hereinafter the "Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is 
 further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named Rudolph may have been 
 involved.) 
  
 The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer 
 intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences 
 located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle 
 was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or 
 nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or 
 implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the 
 chimney. 
  
 Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue 
 from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the 
 aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what 
 appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances 
 and health regulations. 
  
 Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor 
 children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. 
 (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the 
 applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon completion of such task, Claus 
 touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of 
 the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as 
 "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination. 
  
 However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, 
 the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry 
 Christmas to all and to all a good night!"
Or words to that effect. 
  


--------------------------------------------------------------------


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."


dinsdag 21 december 2010

Cool Yule! (1953)

zaterdag 18 december 2010

Wurgcontract

Deze tekst zag ik in de algemene voorwaarden staan van een concurrent ontwerper van websites en logo's:

Auteursrecht & Intellectueel eigendom

Het auteursrecht van alle door XXX ontwikkelde grafische uitingen (ontwerpen) en websites ligt volledig bij XXX. Alle rechten voorbehouden. Er mogen geen ontwerpen of websites zonder uitdrukkelijke toestemming van XXX worden gewijzigd, gekopieerd, verwijderd of aangepast worden. XXX is ten alle tijde gerechtigd om haar naam op de gerealiseerde grafische uitingen en websites te vermelden.

Zou jij van deze diensten gebruik willen maken? Wetende dat je aan zo'n bedrijf vast zit?
donderdag 16 december 2010

300 Years of FOSSIL FUELS in 300 Seconds

300 Years of FOSSIL FUELS 
in 300 Seconds


woensdag 8 december 2010

A day in the life of any animal rescue

“Hello. You have reached 123-4567, Tender Hearts Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation:”

Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice.

Press 2 if you know we are a rescue organization but want to save money and have us give you free, untrained medical advice anyway.

Press 3 if you make $200,000 a year but still want us to pay to spay the "stray" in your yard (house).

Press 4 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away.

Press 5 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and dogs at the same time.

Press 6 if your dog is sick and needs a vet, but you need the money for your vacation.

Press 7 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having problems adjusting, so you want to get rid of the old one right away.

Press 8 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.

Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you.

Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.

Press 11 if you are moving TODAY and need to immediately place your 150 pound, 8-year-old dog.

Press 12 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home TODAY and pick up the dog you no longer want.

Press 13 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog.

Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way to work.

Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message.

Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your dog that you have had for 15 years, because it is not our responsibility.

Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten-year-old dog to be euthanized because I won't take it.

Press18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.

Press 19 if you want one of our perfectly trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred tiny dogs that we have an abundance of.

Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbors' cats.

Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer.

Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course.

Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight-week-old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up.

Press 24 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute.

Press 25 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your religion.

Press 26 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands.

Press 27 if your cat is biting and not using the litter box because it is declawed, but you are not willing to accept the responsibility that the cat's behavior is altered because of your nice furniture.

Press 28 if your two-year-old male dog is marking all over your house but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered.

Press 29 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant.

Press 30 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is
cruel.

Press 31 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back.

Press 32 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.

Press 33 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed.

Press 34 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the dog.

Press 35 if you went through all these presses and didn't hear enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog while the vet mercifully frees him from the grief of missing his family.

WE SALUTE YOU, RESCUERS AND VOLUNTEERS!!!

Dog Poem1

THE STRAY DOG

Dear God please send me somebody who'll care!
I'm tired of running, I'm sick with despair.
My body is aching, it's so racked with pain
And dear God I pray as I run in the rain.
That someone will love me and give me a home
A warm cozy bed and a big juicy bone.


My last owner tied me all day in the yard
Sometimes with no water and God that was hard!
So I chewed my leash God and I ran away
To rummage in garbage and live as a stray.


But now God I'm tired and hungry and cold
And I'm so afraid that I'll never grow old.
They've chased me with sticks hit me with stones
While I run the streets just looking for bones!


I'm not really bad God, please help if you can
For I have become just a "victim of man!"
I'm wormy dear God and I'm ridden with fleas
and all that I want is an owner to please!


If you find one for me God, I'll try to be good
I won't chew their shoes, and I'll do as I should.
I will love them, protect them and try to obey
When they tell me to sit, to lie down or to stay!


I don't think I'll make it too long on my own
Cause I'm getting so weak and I'm Oh so alone.
Each night as I sleep in the bushes I cry
Cause I'm so afraid God, that I'm gonna die!


I've got so much love and devotion to give
That I should be given a new chance to live.
So dear God please, please answer my prayer
and send me somebody who will really care.
donderdag 2 december 2010

Trieste misbruik in Spam bericht

Zojuist ontving ik wat Spam. Per ongeluk open gemaakt en las een nep verhaal van iemand die misbruik maakt van de goede wil van mensen. Deze persoon zou zich moeten schamen dat hij of zij doet alsof hij of zij kanker heeft. Lees hier het bericht:


Dear Friend,

 My name is Mrs Nestoria Vasquez Relevoa ,a General merchant in the United States of America ,Originally from Philippine , but taking Treatment in Tokyo Japan now, I have been diagnosed with Breast cancer (117.7) and Colorectal cancer (42.7) cancer that was discovered very late due to lack of caring For my health. I have only about a few months to live according to medical experts.

I am looking for someone reliable and trusted that can use my ($6,200M)for the less privileges and orphanage homes. Since i can’t  survive this illness. Please you can contact me through this Email address:vasquez_relevoa1@live.co.uk

Warm Greetings from,
Mrs Nestoria Vasquez Relevoa.

Afzender was: vasquezrelevoa@ybe.com maar je moet replyen naar een ander mail adres. Ja ja...

Triest....dit soort mensen. Je mag hopen dat ze er nooit mee te maken krijgen!